Archive for September, 2005

Random Thoughts…

Random thoughts

- What girl screwed over the guy from Dashboard Confessional to make him the mess he is? Wait I don’t care.

- Is there anything more uncomfortable then getting your prostate examined at he doctor’s office? At least they could by you lunch first.

- Yankees vs. Red Sox on Sunday or the NFL… It is like choosing between two children when you can only save one. I have TIVO but it just isn’t the same watching taped sporting events.

- Do you think David Spade is pissed off that he is doing the “Showbiz Show” on Comedy Central. It’s like he is just doing his SNL bit on a weekly basis. Don’t you think he is sitting there thinking, “I thought I would be doing more comedies with fat men.”

Continue reading ‘Random Thoughts…’

Other Crap Like This:
  • Random Thoughts…
  • Thoughts I had while taking a dump and reading Nancy Drew
  • Random Thoughts Written Down While Watching Disorderlies
  • Random Thoughts: Cleaning out the notebook
  • The Best of Random Thoughts
  • Too good not to repost

    This was part of a comment I left on my friend Trinity’s blog. It made me laugh and I figured I should put it here. “Look on the brightside though it could be worse, you could have me as a roommate. I like to sit on the couch on the weekend in boxers without a shirt on recreating the Truth or Dare era Madonna’s cone bra with bugles.” I entertain myself… My god this day needs to end.

    Other Crap Like This:
  • Ok I Guess I Will Comment on The Cheerleaders
  • My Your Mom Bulletin
  • Note to self: The Men’s Bathroom
  • Hodge Podge
  • DMB in SF
  • This is just entertaining

    The Los Angeles Kings are already getting some attention before the season’s start, just not the type they were likely looking for.

    Sean Avery was a guest on The Sports Network of Canada on Tuesday, discussing Denis Gauthier’s hit on Jeremy Roenick, a hit that gave the forward a concussion.

    Avery told the Canadian sports television network that he thought the Coyotes player delivered a “clean hit.” He added: “I think it was typical of most French guys in our league with a visor on, running around and playing tough and not back anything up.

    “I’d think if a guy like Brett Hull was coming up the middle, somebody probably wouldn’t have stepped up and hit him, but like I said, a typical move from a guy wearing a visor that certainly doesn’t like to get scratched at all.” Gauthier was born in Montreal. Roenick is from Boston and Avery from Pickering, Ontario.

    Roenick, meanwhile, was not done.”I’ve seen that Canadians are saying that I’m complaining and whining because I got hit hard,” Roenick told The Times. “But I have gotten hit hard many, many, many times, probably more so than they have ever been hit. They just love to complain about me because I’m an American who gets more press than their Canadian players.

    “They can whine about me all they want. The fact of the matter is the need for respect for everybody, not just me. I’m sure if Joe Sakic got hit the way I got hit and said the same thing I did, Canadians wouldn’t be sitting there saying Joe was complaining.”

    Roenick will miss the rest of the preseason and is listed as day-to-day. The incident was the 11th reported concussion of Roenick’s career.
    ________________________________________________________
    I just like it when people make fun of french canadians.
    I know it is hard for some of the people not from the northeast area of the US to understand this but French Canadians suck… They suck hard. Every few years Quebec says they want to form their own country and it turns into a big fight.
    Seriously though they should just let them go. Because then they can take the annoying french off of the signs in Canada. I am not one of those guys that just hate the French for the sake of hating the French or because it is the red blooded American thing to do. Granted they basically blew Hitler and even fingered him in the ass because he wanted it. But why should I hate a whole country of people for something that happened half a century ago?
    Now French Canadians on the other hand… They could be the most annoying people on the face of the earth. Even ahead of soccer mom’s that drive huge ass SUV’s while talking on the cell phone and almost running me off of the road.
    In fact I would rate the annoying scale as follows
    1) French Canadians
    2) Soccer Moms w/suv, cellphone, and can’t drive worth a shit
    3) People that say that can’t speak a language then all of a sudden when something is not going their way or they can take advantage of something speak that language perfectly
    4)People on the far right (ie;Ann Coulter)
    5) NASCAR fans
    6)American Idol fans
    7) People that push their personal beliefs onto you… be it Christians, vegans, swingers, Elvis fans….
    8) People that find the following funny: Ashton Kutcher, Andy Milonakious, Napolean Dynamite, Blue Collar Comedy, and Futurama.
    I think I will stop there… I need to shower… Damn work….

    Other Crap Like This:
  • Yes these are my friends….
  • Linkatage for 10-08
  • Damn You Jessica Alba…
  • Are Sex in the City fans dumber than Fall Out Boy Fans?
  • Damn…
  • Yes these are my friends….

    So I just figured I would share this with my myspace people… It was rather entertaining.

    As most of you know I moved out here from Western, NY last year…. I don’t talk about my friends back there much on here but let’s just say it was never boring. So last night I called my friend Kurt aka Squirty just to talk a little bit about football. I ended up leaving a message because he didn’t answer the phone. I awoke this morning to hear the following message:

    (In full squirty drunken slur.)

    Squirty: Hey what’s up. Tomlinson is a witch…. I’m in New Jersey at a strip club. You know the Bada Bing from Soprano’s.

    Me and JW were making out with a stripper in the bar. I think she wants to go home with us. But then again she just fell off of the stool, so I don’t think she is coming back with us. Anyways I don’t think I am an orgy guy. I will call you later

    end of message

    What a great message to start the day. Nevermind trying to figure out the entire call. I mean NJ is like 8 hours away from where we all live. I am waiting for the “can you bail me out of jail call” should be any minute now…

    Yes these are my friends.

    Other Crap Like This:
  • I was just thinking
  • I think I now love Rolling Stone
  • Someone deleted me from their friend’s list here is why
  • My Dream Last Night
  • If you own a dog…
  • I Still Don’t Get This Movie

    So like last year at this time I wrote a short blog about a move called “This Girl’s Life”. I stumbled by it one night on HBO like at 1 am. This week I watched it again for a second time and I figured now that I have seen the entire movie I can give my full review.

    Well like I said in first blog about it I was flipping through the channels and stumbled across James Woods acting like a retard. Now I know that sounds rather insensitive but I am a sucker for watching actors play people with disabilities because it is the most overrated thing ever. I don’t see how it is a skill to act like someone with a disability. Yet everyone always gives these roles such acclaim. I used to pretend I was retarded in 6th grade… I would have owned in “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”. So to me it is like watching a train wreck.

    Ok well anyways back on track. So I was sucked in by James Woods… Then Michael Rappaport was in it and Rosario Dawson… but then there was a crazy amount of nudity and sex. It was like a combination of a skinamax movie and a legit movie… Totally threw me for a loop. Like I just wasn’t sure how to treat it… Is it like a total crappy porn or a total crappy movie? It is like deciding if dogshit is the worst smelling thing ever or the worst tasting? (Not that I have tasted it)

    The movie starts out about this girl played by Juliette Marquis:

    This Girls Life

    She is hot but her inability to act and this crappy movie killed her career. Same with the director he has not written or directed anything since this.

    I was going to give you a whole breakdown of the movie but explaining it would take pages. So I am going to give you the abridged story arch.

    -Girl is in porn, top star… contract up

    -Mom died years ago… Dad has Parkinson’s

    -Girl has blind date with med student

    -Tell med student she is porn, he isn’t sure how to react

    -Friends asks her to help catch husband cheating

    -Flirts with friends husband makes him cheat on tape

    -Becomes a PI that specializes in tricking men into cheat and videotaping it

    -Makes Michael Rappaport cheat in most awkward sex scene ever makes him snap and threaten her

    -Dad disappears as he wanders out of house, she freaks out he is returned by police

    -She has AIDS scare because some other star has it

    -She doesn’t have AIDS

    -She meets up with guy that she had blind date with

    -Movie ends

    It is a fucking convoluted mess isn’t it?

    Reasons why this movie blows:

    1) Male nudity- She interviews guys that she is going to do a sex scene with. One guy is fucking really old… They show package… never a good thing… ( AND I DO NOT CARE THAT IT IS A DOUBLE STANDARD)

    2) She is the top porn star for a company yet she does webcam work at this house that a bunch of porn stars live in…. It makes no sense. It would be like a professional football player coming over to play backyard football with a 12 year old kid.

    3) Is there a reason why James Woods is in the movie with Parkinson’s? I mean did they need that story line?

    4) How do you go from porn to like private eye to like an AIDS scare and the time frame is like a week? It makes no sense.

    I am totally rambling about nothing… This blog blows… I am ejecting now… before it gets any worse.

    Other Crap Like This:
  • Educating my blog readers, all three of you
  • Are Sex in the City fans dumber than Fall Out Boy Fans?
  • Random Thoughts
  • Another reason why I am starting to hate movies
  • An Open Letter to Women Who Wear See Thru Dresses at Award Shows
  • The second time this happened to me… not cool

    hottiebootie001: hey
    hottiebootie001: sup?
    kp2575: hey
    hottiebootie001: SUP?
    kp2575: what
    hottiebootie001: u in oxnard?
    kp2575: yes
    kp2575: why
    kp2575: ?

    Ok in less then two months time I have had two random people IM me and offer to blow me on yahoo messenger. If it were women I would be proud, sadly no… They both were guys… Once again for entertainment purposes I have included the entire conversation

    hottiebootie001: what part of oxnard?
    kp2575: colonia (for those of you who don’t know colonia is a ghetto with gangsters all over the place… so yeah funny answer)
    hottiebootie001: cool
    hottiebootie001: u feel like horny?
    kp2575: is that even english?
    hottiebootie001: u want to get a head?
    kp2575: I already have a head
    hottiebootie001: get sucked deep throat
    kp2575: wtf
    kp2575: a) you are a guy and I am straight
    kp2575: b) I am not interested
    kp2575: c) you have no grasp of the english language
    hottiebootie001: i will do u good man
    kp2575: yeah but I have gential warts
    kp2575: will you lick the puss out of them?
    hottiebootie001: sure
    kp2575: you need serious help
    kp2575: I think I need to vomit

    (So at this point I decide to give him my co-worker’s number because I am an asshole)

    kp2575: actually you know what let’s meet up here is my number 805-906–9313 my name is Leo
    hottiebootie001: haha with your girl?
    hottiebootie001: sure
    kp2575: no you and me big guy

    I wonder if Leo is going to get a call???

    Other Crap Like This:
  • Another reason why I am a complete idiot
  • Random Thoughts…
  • What the hell happened at Jeopardy
  • *Sniffle* The Greatest Thing to Ever Happen to Me
  • The Failed Seduction of Kevin