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Fuck Jared and Subway

By: Bobby Finstock on 08/24/05 @ 10:29 pm

The one thing I think I miss most about East Coast food is good subs, hoagies, grinders… whatever you want to call them.

Out here I can’t find a good sub shop… The Jersey Mike’s Sub Shop chain is probably the best, which isn’t saying much… I don’t like Quizno’s all that much and I despise Subway.

The problem with Subway is that it is like less then 50 yards from where I work. So when I am super busy at work and just need something to quick to eat I tend to go there. I know going in what I am getting, and I am not going to be happy yet I eat it anyways.

Now back where I used to live there were three separate attempts to get a Subway up and running and all three times they failed, because the local sub shops were that much better. It would be like trying to put a Taco Bell in next to an authentic Mexican Restaurant. It just doesn’t fly.

So you might ask why do I hate subway? Or you are sitting there saying, “A Sub is a sub” Kevin is just being a freak. No that is not true.

1) The Bread- Subway’s bread blows in a number of ways. The bread is the base of a good sub… Aunt Cookie’s sub shop in Geneseo, NY makes a sesame seed bread that is toasted… It is amazing. All the sub shops around me had one thing in common, superior bread.

2) Fresh Veggies- I don’t think there has been a time that I have gone to subway where the tomatoes weren’t like yellow in the middle or all hardened. It just doesn’t happen. The lettuce is never fresh either… I expect more out of my veggies.

3) Subway puts nothing in their subs. The subs I am used to eating you feared. When you had to choose between a 6 inch and a 12 inch it was a debate… You didn’t think you could get down a whole sub… In fact it was a commitment to choose a 12 inch sub. You knew that it would require work and effort, because they were stuffed with veggies, meat, and cheese. Now when I go to Subway it isn’t even a choice, I know that a full size sub there won’t even fill me.

4) I hate watching people make my sub at Subway. Because they have set instructions on how they make it the whole art form is gone… They only put a certain number of slices of cheese etc… It is so mechanical and boring… In NY when they are dumping oil on your sub or putting pretty much anything except the meat they ask if it is enough. I miss that… I like being part of the process… Maybe I am just an attention whore

5) Jarred sucks… Fuck anyone that gets famous for being a company spokesperson. I hate the Verizon guy, Jarred, and pretty much any company spokesperson… They have no talent, no real reason to be the spokesperson, they just look a certain way or dropped weight eating at Subway because they were too fucking lazy to cook for themselves.

So I just wrote a blog on how I don’t like a place that makes sandwiches… I need to get a life.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

6 Responses to “Fuck Jared and Subway”

  1. Jessica says:

    I, for one, love subway. But the reason I am even writing is because I want to know what YOU do for a living. Seeing how company spokespersons piss you off. I’m assuming you have this kick ass job. So, let’s hear it.

  2. kevin says:

    How can you love subway? Do you not realize what a real sub is? Where do you live Jessica?

    I do have a kick ass job. I work for the CIA.

  3. jackie says:


  4. stinkray says:

    jared what an asshole, why should anyone take dietary advice from this jerkoff? he’s a dumbass.. he’s still fatter than me and anyone who preaches any gospel should just shut the fuck up.

    he’s a pain in the ass, why don’t he fuck off already.

  5. iPatroll says:

    Jessica, you’re retarded. I’m pretty sure you don’t know what the hell you are talking about. You’re a mainstream girl that enjoys everything everyone else in your community enjoys. Subway is directly next to me, and I’m forced to eat there as well if I need something quick. I too, hate Jared. (I found this blog typing FUCK JARED in google.) and don’t like the Verizon guy (his nickname is “Testman” by the way.)

    You want to know where I work? Verizon Wireless. I’m a district manager. Kickass job? Sure. Go sit your ass somewhere.

  6. Nick says:


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