Things You Do Multiple Time in Your Life, If Not Daily That I Hate

Moving

I hate moving. The only thing I hate more than moving is moving other people’s shit. As a good friend I have been called upon to move a lot of my friends. It is never a good experience. First of all you have to care about their shit, even though you don’t care about their shit, especially if they have a ton of it. You start to question things as you move… Like do you really need 7 dressers in your house? Or how many people have use for 15 end tables? The thing is you want to get it over and done with so you can go home and it begins to annoy you that they have so much shit.

There is always one ridiculously big item that someone totally loves, and the girlfriend or wife of said friend always begs that you not scratch it. So you have to be extra careful with it. The problem is it usually weighs like 1.5 million pounds and is ultra awkward to carry. I am not even taking into consideration how impossible the item is to get through a door. Of course said girlfriend or wife is standing there the entire time you are moving it making a face and reminding you over and over not to scratch it. Usually they are slightly getting in the way… She has boundless energy to nag you incessantly because she has carried like pillows and two bags into the house all day. Of course once you get the item into the house you need to put it in three different rooms against every wall so they can visualize how it will look in the room. This is something I don’t get. First of all you can measure it to see where it will fit, instead of lugging it over and trying to jam it between two windows only to see it is four inches over the allotted size. Plus there is a nifty thing called visualization where you picture things in your head. I thing this might be a gender issue, not to be sexist. Because every time I have had to move someone I always end up moving a handful of items 17 times so they can get a view of how it goes. What is funny to me is that my friends are usually moving into small houses or apartments… There really is only two places the item can go.. But we need to try out every combination.

Tipping

Don’t get me wrong. I like to tip, in fact I over tip… But I tip those who deserve it, in jobs where tipping has always gone on. I have no problem with tipping bartenders, waitresses, people that hand wash my car, delivery people, etc…

However it pisses me off that now people at starbucks and jamba juice have a tip jar out at their register. I understand that they aren’t in high paying jobs and every little bit helps. But since when do you tip the person at the drive thru at McDonald’s… that’s right you don’t… When did starbucks or jamba juice end up higher on the caste system of fast food? The worst thing is you tip before you get your product… which drives me nuts. If I get shitty service when I am eating, you take a little off of the tip at the end. Like when I go to BJ’s in Oxnard I always leave a shitty tip because well service is so piss poor there. I understand when it is busy. But when it is slow and we see the waitress sitting around with four other people ignoring us well that usually leads to a decreased tip. Anyways… so yeah at Starbucks and Jamba Juice you tip before you get the product… So if they totally fuck up or make a mistake (which is usually one out of every five orders) you have already tipped them for being incompetent. You have rewarded them for not doing their job right. It sucks because you can’t exactly go back and take their tip back.

Also tipping at weddings when it is an open bar blows. So you get to the wedding and you need a drink after sitting through that ceremony. You don’t have ones… You never have ones when you go to a wedding for some reason. I don’t know why, it just always seems to happen that way. So you either go through the embarrassing exercise of asking the people you are with that they have ones or you give a big tip ahead of time. I don’t want to be a dick and drop a ten in the bowl and say something like, “I am just going to tip you ahead of time or for the whole night.” Because you sound like an awkward moron doing that, at the same time though you want to have them see you putting the big bill in there. If they don’t see you doing that then you feel like you are the cheapest person ever every time you go up to get a drink and don’t tip. You notice after that the drinks are getting less stiff and the service is getting shitty. What I don’t get is that don’t they get tipped anyways by the people paying for them? So they really are taking advantage of all of us… Bastards.

Charity

Wow two things in a row that are going to make me look ultra cheap but I am not. I think I have written about this before but I am too lazy to go back and check. I hate charity… There are certain charities I give to over the year that I support and it is a personal thing for me. I give not as a tax write off, not for people to give me recognition but towards something that I care about.

With that being said I FUCKING HATE being hit up everywhere I go to give to charity. Not a day goes by where somewhere I am not asked to give. It drives me nuts. The Will Rodgers charity at the movies really pisses me off to know end. After you buy over priced tickets they ask if you want to donate money to the Will Rodgers Institute. Now I have nothing against the Will Rodgers Institute I am sure they do some mighty fine work but after paying being charged money for an overpriced ticket for a movie that is going to be mediocre and before you are about to get way over charged for soda and popcorn they want you to donate money? Seriously why don’t they take some of the massive profits they get from the $6.00 popcorn that cost them .30 to make and donate it? Or what about the commercials they have the balls to show before they movies, why not take some of the money you generate from that?

The other charity that bugs me is [tag]UNICEF[/tag]. Fuck every parent that has there kid go trick or treating with the little UNICEF box instead of candy. UNICEF is a great organization but seriously do you think your kids are going to look back and remember that fun Halloween where they went trick o treating for UNICEF? No… how many Halloweens do kids get before they out grow it? Why not donate all of their Christmas presents too while you are at it. Yeah I know it teaches them values about helping other people out and even having a world view. But screw that… Halloween is about greed and gluttony that is the whole fun of it.

I hate the fact that once you donate something to a charity that they never leave you alone after that. I donated some stuff to the open door mission and they call my phone weekly (always at the worst time) to see if I would like to donate more stuff. I don’t want to flip on them like they are a telemarketer and tell them to remove my name from the list because then I sound like a total asshole. At the same time why would they think I have piled up a bunch of stuff to donate in such a short period of time? Why not call back every six months or something like that. I don’t have time to accumulate shit to donate on a weekly or monthly basis.

Ok I am done ranting now.