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More Things I Hate About Myspace

By: Bobby Finstock on 04/11/05 @ 8:09 pm

More things I hate about myspace round II

-Is molesting Ronald McDonald the new cool thing to do? If it is I haven’t received the memo and it is now getting so cliched it is not funny. I think I have seen like 40 different times on here.

Ronald McDonald

While blowjob and handjob jokes are rather funny, I think this one has kind of gone on a little too long. It just isn’t original anymore…Can me move past this? Please….

Besides I think Bob’s Big Boy is getting jealous.

-Myspace needs to be 18 and older, for so many reasons which I will outline here.

1) If you think I post stupid shit… You should see some of the bulletins I get… Of course I accept all these random people onto my friends list so I get to see the bottom of the barrel.

Likes to post bulletins “I want you all to know… As of this moment, I fucking rock the fauxhawk… hot damn, I am one attractive guy.”

Then there have been other ones such as how much he bangs his girlfriend and on and on….

I would rather not know this.

2) They destroy any sense of rational debate in the forums, especially 16 year old girls in the sports forum. There is no point to even read their posts.

For example (these are all actual posts, they actually created new threads with these)

Wendie from Brookfield Wisconsin –”Who plays soccer? Soccer Players, Post!”

(Thanks Wendy for that thought provoking thread.)

Sarah from parts unknown- “Have you guys ever wondered why jocks/jockettes are so mean! I play so many sports and I would never do half the stuff my schools “cool jocks” do!!!”

(Ah to be 16 and utterly clueless… I guess all the “nerds” in her school wear those black rimmed glasses with tape on the nose. Someone has been watching too many John Hughes movies… Wait she probably has no idea who that is.)

Shawna from parts unknown- “What is all of the guys out put on it. I have played for 4 years with the guys. started in 6th grade, and I plan to go all the way through high school. I play safety and full back. I have a pic of my in my uniform, if you wanna look. POST YOUR COMMENTS”

(Is she whoring for comments here or making a point?)
ronstermonster from p-town Oregon – “who thinks softball is a true sport… FASTPITCH?”

(Okay this needs some background information. There are like 15 different threads that ask is (insert sports name here) a sport? Cheerleading, horse riding… basically any female sport… It is rather annoying…)

Kristine from Ontario, CA- “USC…they are going to have great team they have a lot of players coming back. Like Reggie Bush and the quarterback( cant think of this name). I really like watching reggie bush.”

(Yeah thanks for creating a thread about this… By the way the QB is the most well known QB in college football…. Being a fan usually you would know that.)

Amanda from CT –”Hey whats up? I was Wondering if neone did wrestling,not the crap they show on tv. Im a wrestler, the only chic on my team its pretty damn kool.So yea does neone else do wrestling here?”

(Microsoft word just exploded doing a spelling and grammar check on that.)

Jessica from Raleigh, NC- “Volleyball and spandex….Some girls like it, others hate it. What do you think?

I personally like it b/c it doesn’t get in your way when you play. I also think that it’s comfortable.”

(I have never needed in depth analysis of fashions worn during sporting events… Doesn’t spandex give you camel toe though? Discuss….)


Kelly from Wisconsin- “Hot sexy boy basketball players… enlighten me!”

(Enlighten her on what? What is the point? Why God why?)

3) It is a child porn freaks wet dream. Seriously I mean there are girls on here that are under 18 wearing next to nothing. It makes me want to vomit… The sad thing is they have like a ton of people as their friends and most are like guys in their twenties. Which is kind of creepy, ok it is really creepy…
4) Polls that they create…. I think I have covered my disdain for polls created by 14 year old girls

“when u get this add your name and s/n to the list, and dont break the chain some thing good will happen to u @ 10 tonite if u repost this w/ in 3 mins. and reply back to the person who sent it to you……if u dont then u will have bad luck 4 the rest of 4ever…thnx”

I guess going by these posts… I am going to have the worst day ever tomorrow, with shitty luck for the rest of my life, while having horrible sex, and I will die at midnight tonight.

Looks I better catch up and reply to more of these.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

One Response to “More Things I Hate About Myspace”

  1. Hey, cool tips. I’ll buy a glass of beer to the person from that chat who told me to go to your site :)

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