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Best of… Shitty Kevin Quotes

By: Bobby Finstock on 03/9/05 @ 11:08 am

Well I was going to write like a top ten quotes thing when I got to my 75th blog but I am at like 71 now and well I am bored at work… So without further adieu I give you the ten greatest quotes from my blogs. (In no particular order)

1) (On possible baby names)
These would be much more fitting for a girl. Lauderdale would end up being a stripper though I just know it.

2) (On James Woods performance in “This Girl’s Life”)
I am a sucker for people trying to play a role as a cripple, retard, ill person, or a cross dresser.

3) (On the handicapped stalls being so far away from the door)
Is it maybe a grudge that architects have against the handicapped? Like they are thinking, “Alright we’ll give you this but you are going to have to earn it.” Is it tradition? Maybe the first person that had to put one in was thinking, “Fuck em’ we’ll put it at the end of the bathroom.”

4) (On my inability to open a can of Chef Boyardee Raviolis)
New freaking can opener with new fangled technology = 15 minutes of me trying to open a can of crappy raviolis

5) (About the HBO special “Hookers on the Point” after they say how they judge people and figure out how much to charge)
Hookers… Who thought they could be so thought provoking.

6) I hate people that spell cool as kewl. I hate them even more if they spell it like so… kEwL

7) (From Kevin answers questions from Parade Magazine)
Q. I loved Marlee Matlin, the deaf actress, in What the Bleep Do We Know? Does she really have body-image concerns like her character in that film?
-R.M., Santa Monica, Calif.
A. I asked her but I couldn’t understand the answer.

8) (I like it so much I have to repost it)
Nick Dipalo – “Jessica Simpson is so dumb she doesn’t get her period she gets a question mark.”

9) (About people I don’t like on Myspace)

-The obligatory guy without his shirt showing his abs. There is one of three poses that the guy must take.
1) The lean to the right while having his hands on his belt line.
2) The holding up shirt showing abs while looking down like he is trying to find
his dick
3) The sitting in the chair slightly leaning back while giving a cold stare.
Of course every single one of these guys has the same profile. “Life is short play hard. Not looking for anything serious just someone to party with because life is short.”

10) (From Random Thoughts)

Did anyone ever think you would be saying Jamie Foxx and Oscar in the same breath? Seriously the guy was in fucking Booty Call.

11) (From Random Thoughts)

I feel sorry for Tony Danza… I don’t know why I just do.

(sorry I had to throw that last one in there)

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

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