A Typical Cheerleading Practice

(I posted this in the sports forum… I figured I would throw it up here…)

Typical cheerleading practice:

1st half hour-

Cheerleader A comes into practice in tears because either:

A) Boyfriend issues
B) Someone called her fat
C) Self esteem issues
D) She has her period

Cheerleaders B thru M console her while cheerleaders N and O sit off to the side saying how much cheerleader A is a bitch and that she has fat ankles.

2nd half hour-

Cheerleaders “stretch” which consists of stretching and talking about:

A) The prom
B) What boy looked hot that day
C) Whatever girl in their school is a total bitch
D) The OC

Cheerleaders Y and Z , the two male cheerleaders, wonder why all their friends no longer talk to them? They try and legitimize why they are on the team saying they are surrounded by chicks but they truth is none of the cheerleaders would touch either of the two.

3rd half hour

The Cheerleaders work on their act or routine or whatever the hell you call it. During which time cheerleader T and cheerleader E get in a fight because cheerleader T wore the same outfit that cheerleader E wore to school that day… or vice versa depending on who you believe. Whore, bitch, and skank are all said during the exchange dividing the squad into three camps. The first camp is sided with cheerleader T because she is the best looking one on the squad, hence she is never wrong. The other more homely girls are behind cheerleader E which is the smart yet ugly one. Our third camp consists of girls that hate both girls and secretly want them to beat the shit out of each other.

4th Final half hour

They make signs… Lame signs… They are lame because if they had artistic ability they would have a real hobby and talent. The girls make signs about boys they have crushes on. Another fight breaks out after Cheerleader L and Cheerleader T both discover that they have been sleeping with the start quarterback. Once again the words skank, slut, whore and bitch are uttered dividing the team yet again. Finally they all hug and make up pretending they are friends…

Of course all this gets undone when they go home and IM each other or talk on the phone backstabbing each and everyone of their teammates. This creates the drama for the next day and the cycle begins again.