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A Typical Cheerleading Practice

By: Bobby Finstock on 12/28/04 @ 8:17 pm

(I posted this in the sports forum… I figured I would throw it up here…)

Typical cheerleading practice:

1st half hour-

Cheerleader A comes into practice in tears because either:

A) Boyfriend issues
B) Someone called her fat
C) Self esteem issues
D) She has her period

Cheerleaders B thru M console her while cheerleaders N and O sit off to the side saying how much cheerleader A is a bitch and that she has fat ankles.

2nd half hour-

Cheerleaders “stretch” which consists of stretching and talking about:

A) The prom
B) What boy looked hot that day
C) Whatever girl in their school is a total bitch
D) The OC

Cheerleaders Y and Z , the two male cheerleaders, wonder why all their friends no longer talk to them? They try and legitimize why they are on the team saying they are surrounded by chicks but they truth is none of the cheerleaders would touch either of the two.

3rd half hour

The Cheerleaders work on their act or routine or whatever the hell you call it. During which time cheerleader T and cheerleader E get in a fight because cheerleader T wore the same outfit that cheerleader E wore to school that day… or vice versa depending on who you believe. Whore, bitch, and skank are all said during the exchange dividing the squad into three camps. The first camp is sided with cheerleader T because she is the best looking one on the squad, hence she is never wrong. The other more homely girls are behind cheerleader E which is the smart yet ugly one. Our third camp consists of girls that hate both girls and secretly want them to beat the shit out of each other.

4th Final half hour

They make signs… Lame signs… They are lame because if they had artistic ability they would have a real hobby and talent. The girls make signs about boys they have crushes on. Another fight breaks out after Cheerleader L and Cheerleader T both discover that they have been sleeping with the start quarterback. Once again the words skank, slut, whore and bitch are uttered dividing the team yet again. Finally they all hug and make up pretending they are friends…

Of course all this gets undone when they go home and IM each other or talk on the phone backstabbing each and everyone of their teammates. This creates the drama for the next day and the cycle begins again.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

One Response to “A Typical Cheerleading Practice”

  1. LeeAnne Lenti says:

    that is the stupidest thing i have ever heard! Competitive cheerleading takes skills and tons of practice. Heres more of how it goes… FIrst five minutes- stretch
    next- warm up stunts next- warm up jumps
    next- runa mile while saying the cheer because someone was talking while stretching next- throw stunt ful out
    next- throw first part of routine full out then run around the gym once ..repeat three times
    next- throw first part of routine full out then run around the gym once ..repeat three times
    next-throw first part of routine full out then run around the gym once ..repeat three times next throw ful routine
    next- work more on pyramid
    next- role up the mats
    next- go home and work some more because that practice wasnt perfect!
    Cheerleading takes heart and skill and what i just listed is all done in 2 hours at most..it definetely takes endurance so before you diss it try it and personally i think cheerleading will kick your ass!

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