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A Nub for New Years

By: Bobby Finstock on 12/28/04 @ 11:03 am

New Years resolutions are made by people that really don’t want to keep them. How many times have people said that they wanted to quit smoking for the new years and then like 5 weeks later they break down? Of course it is explained with an excuse like, “I was really stressed.” Or something lame like that. Now I am not saying I am better than anyone because I never follow through on mine. Whether it is to be more organized or eat better or anything like those… I just break down eventually.

So I am going to propose a plan… Let’s call it a “Nub for New Years”

“A Nub for New Years” is basically this… If you make a resolution you have to stick to it or you lose a finger… Well the top part of a finger. Think about the impact that this would have. I mean if you make a new year’s resolution you bet your ass that you will be sticking to it. Let’s say you plan on losing 15 pounds. You don’t think your ass would be on a bike or in the gym everyday with the thought of losing the finger?

Not only does this enforce the resolution you make. It also forces you to pick a realistic resolution. No more… I am going to be nice to everyone… Or I am going to run in a marathon even though I have never run more than a lap around a track.

Well I know this revolutionary idea will be thought of as mean or cruel. But that will just because all the self help gurus will be shitting themselves when they hear this. Screw Dr. Phil…

So when one of your friends tells you “Oh I am going to stop eating McDonald’s for my new year’s resolution” ask them are they willing to lose a nub for it?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

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