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Things I don’t like about myspace

By: Bobby Finstock on 10/27/04 @ 10:29 am

-The profiles with pictures of hot girls and nothing filled out. Yet they have like 650 friends. I don’t know what annoys me more the fact that people are dumb enough to ask them to be their “friend” when they are really just getting on someone’s mailing list for spam. Or that they leave comment after comment like “When you im’ing me” or something along those lines.

-People that write LiKe TheeSSee KaUsE It’S KeWl…. I freely admit that my English is not the best in the world but make a fucking attempt at a cohesive sentence.

-That people write about Paris Hilton and their hoping for her demise. Wait that is me never mind.

-The obligatory guy without his shirt showing his abs. There is one of three poses that the guy must take.
1) The lean to the right while having his hands on his belt line.
2) The holding up shirt showing abs while looking down like he is trying to find
his dick
3) The sitting in the chair slightly leaning back while giving a cold stare.
Of course every single one of these guys has the same profile. “Life is short play hard. Not looking for anything serious just someone to party with because life is short.”

-Um people that write unintelligent shit like this:

(This is taken from an actual blog. The offending person will remain nameless.)

FUCK this muthafuckin apartment for bein so nice in the ghetto!
FUCK runnin outta weed!
FUCK dumb ass drivers that continuously hit my sister -all 6 times
FUCK myspace for bein so fuckin slow!
FUCK jealous muthafuckers!
FUCK jealous bitches for goin on our pages cuz we’re on their man’s list
FUCK cigarettes for bein so damn expensive!
FUCK rosarito for only allowing 2 bottles of alcohol per person!
FUCK guys that think they’re gonna be .1 after the first date!
FUCK bein on ur period!
FUCK diets!
FUCK bikini waxes for hurting so much!
FUCK guys with little dicks and big balls!
FUCK sex in the city for ending!
FUCK a shart!
FUCK squeeky beds!
FUCK a guy that sleeps with his socks on!
FUCK the middle finger!
FUCK a shim!
FUCK a roach in a high-class restaurant!
FUCK hangovers!
FUCK the Lakers for losing the world championship!
FUCK broke ass fools with no skrilla!
FUCK cheaters!
FUCK guys who use the same lines on every girl on his list!
FUCK unscented candles
FUCK guys that lie!
FUCK weekends for bein so short!
FUCK a man whore!
FUCK guys with no ass!
FUCK our ex’s and their ex’s!
FUCK a broken nail!
FUCK girls with small boobs!
FUCK cotton mouth!
FUCK being 2nd best!
FUCK hickeys!
FUCK guys that don’t wear cologne!
FUCK guys that don’t dress to impress!
FUCK guys with a small tongue and a big mouth!
FUCK a page with just body pic and no face.
FUCK guys that ask girls for money!
FUCK a lying best friend!
FUCK a guy with beer balls!
FUCK guys who wear cheap shoes!
FUCK a pimp
FUCK a hoe
FUCK bootleg dvd’s
FUCK late fees
FUCK cramps
FUCK a bad hair day!
FUCK our driver’s license pictures!
FUCK clubs with more girls than guys!
FUCK ugly guys!
FUCK ugly girls!
FUCK ugly kids! sorry, but it’s true!
FUCK dead beat parents!
FUCK blind dates!
FUCK bill collectors!
FUCK guys who don’t drink!
FUCK people that judge other people.
and FUCK us for being too high to think of any thing else to fuckin say! Wut the FUCK!??!?!

Seriously where to start on this? I think I lost at least 25 IQ points reading this. It is two minutes of my life I will never get back.

-The bands on myspace. I hate the ad’s they put up on peoples comments. I hate the fact they all leach on and want you to join up with them. So far I haven’t been impressed with any of them. I understand they are trying to promote their band but there is just a line where it goes from promotion to just pestering.

-People that don’t spell check comments. Here is an example:

“lincoln park are whinny bitches.”

Let me just point this out-
whinny- to neigh especially in a low or gentle way

What a difference an “e” instead of a “n” would make.

To end on a positive note I do have to say I have met some nice, interesting, intelligent people on here. But it is so much more fun to pick on the things I don’t like.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

3 Responses to “Things I don’t like about myspace”

  1. rogue says:

    LOL just wanted to point out to you that lincoln park should be linkin park. darn that spell check :-P

  2. ??? says:

    iM GlaD i DeLeTeD My MySpAcE PaGe
    j/j but i seriously did erase my page and im an artist, never been happier

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